Thinking about Middle School….? I Am!

I know, I know. It is still summer vacation. But for me and my work it is already time to start thinking about the upcoming school selection season and how I can support families. Plus….

My daughter is entering fourth grade. (Yikes! What? Are you kidding? How did that happen?)

So, basically, for someone like me, that means I am beginning the process of looking at schools for what would be a good fit for her  - two short years away. 

I realize that to some, that sounds crazy. Take two years to look at middle schools? Well - while I am a little on the Type A side to be sure, I have to tell you…I think I am right on this one. The fifth grade year is full of things that families need to accomplish and it is all crammed into the fall. If you spread some of your tours out to the year before - you have a little wiggle room. A little extra time to look at that school you heard about from that one lady standing in line for coffee. And for me, that extra time helps me breathe easier, think my priorities for my daughter through without pressure, and helps me to feel confident that I have considered what I have needed to - before starting the stress of the fifth grade fall. 

Now you tell me, some of you are saying into your screen. My kid is starting fifth grade! What do I do then?!

Don't panic. :) Here is an overview I give my clients - and notice there are a few things you can do right now to soften the blow of the fifth grade fall. 

• Develop your list of 6-9 key educational needs in a setting for your child so you know what you are looking for in a school. (For more on this, check out my website.)

• Think about how you would like your child to be involved in this process. 
• What decision making powers (if any) will they have?
• What limits will you set in the process of deciding? (i.e. you have to tour three schools; you have to apply to four schools; we will meet every other week as a family to talk about middle schools for one hour, etc.)
• What expectations will you set around your child’s participation in this process? (i.e. you will work on application essays once a week for an hour; you will take a class on preparing for the ISEE; we will make a calendar so you know when applications are due and can plan for things to be ready by then, etc.)

• Research, read and make a tour list
• What schools do you want to tour?
• How many schools can you realistically tour in the fall? 
• What schools do you want to bring your child to tour?

• If you are considering public schools, find out about your district’s school assignment policies and deadlines. 
• Remember that these can (and do) change from year to year. Always good to double check with the district - not your good friend or the lady in your office - so you don’t miss an important deadline.

• If you are considering applying to private schools, find out about the entrance exam requirements (if there are any) and sign up for that test.
• Go to http://erblearn.org/parents/admission/isee or http://www.ssat.org/ssat/info/home.html to find out when the testing dates for this year are and register.
• You will need “codes” for the schools that you would like these scores to be sent to...so it is great to know all the schools you are considering applying to so the score reports can be sent to the appropriate place. Be inclusive of who you send to, so you don’t have to go back and get the scores sent to other schools in a time crunch.
• Many schools have their own, in-house assessment as well. Good to ask about what that will entail and how students can best prepare.

• Create a touring calendar and a consistent “questions to ask” sheet to take with you.
• Have at least three key questions - based on your prioritized educational values - to ask at every tour - that way you are comparing apples to apples when the time comes. 
• This makes sure that you don’t miss an opportunity to tour a school and that you have the same information (based on your key educational values - see #1) regarding each school.

• Create an application and financial aid due date calendar so you don’t miss any due dates.
• Display it prominently so everyone in the family can see it and reference it.
• Don’t forget private, public, and charter school deadlines differ - so be sure to put them all on your calendar.
• Help your child plan when he/she will work on their essays and make sure they are scheduling enough time to do their best work while minimizing stress.

• Check in with your child’s teacher about teacher recommendation forms and when they would like to have the forms.
• You don’t want a teacher recommendation done “on the fly”. :) Remember to give them clear directions, pre-addressed envelopes, and stamps so all they have to focus on is the recommendation.

• Tour and attend open houses and start to determine where you would like to apply.
• If there are schools that your are certain you want to apply to, then start working on the application essays with your child in order to give them as much time as possible to do a great job.
• Talk about your observations with your partner and your child (as applicable), and be sure to call current families if you have questions or concerns about a school. 
• Many private schools will schedule a tour for families who can’t attend regularly scheduled events - be sure to ask if you need something that better matches your schedule.
• I recommend that if you want an independent school to be an option for your child, you should apply to at least three schools minimally. Middle schools in the Bay Area can be very competitive, depending on the school. 

• Apply on time and schedule your family’s interviews, your child’s shadow days, and assessment days at different schools. 
• Many schools have different activities for students to do to get to know them and for them to get to know the school.  Most of these activities are required in the admissions process.
• Put them on your calendar too...and spread them out if you can to lessen the stress on your student.
• Ask what your student will do on their assessment day so they can feel a little prepared heading into a new setting. 
• Does not hurt to practice basic interviewing skills - in a fun, low pressure way. Shaking hands, smiling, try to participate, and answering adult questions in full sentences is really all they need.

• Remember to set expectations with your student about where they may or may not go to school.
• Children will get their hopes up about different schools and sending a consistent message that you will find a great fit, but that we have to stay open minded about the end result is important. 

I hope this is helpful to you! And good luck! Maybe I will see a few of you on school tours this fall!