So - just to start - I am not a tremendous fan of the top 10 list format. While I will ALWAYS read a top 10 list on a topic of interest, I often leave the experience wanting more...what did they really mean by #3? But what if #7 simply doesn't apply? The simplicity of the structure draws me in (really, there is only 10 things to know?) - but the lack of specificity leaves me wanting every time.
Honestly, I am writing this list more as a way of organizing my own thoughts on this complicated subject. The more our schools are in jeopardy (and I think they are - if you don't, you might want to read here, and here, and here to form your own opinion), the more I feel like focused, supportive guidance is needed for families to navigate getting their child onto one of the sturdier lifeboats that still exist in the Bay Area - a.k.a. a good school.
But don't panic. :) Really. It won't serve you. (There are some reasons to hope. Plus, some good people are on the problem.) Let's just do some thinking to get you started. When looking at a Kindergarten or early elementary setting for your child, consider:
1. Your child
This truly is the only place to start. Your child will be at the school you select for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for at least the next six years (assuming you are looking for a K-5 setting). They need to be in a place that:
Appreciates them for who they are. Is your child shy? Gregarious? Thoughtful? Creative? The school you choose should appreciate your child as a complex whole. A great kid. Because they are.
Feeds their passion. Is it Music? Writing? Math? Science? All of the above? Not sure yet? Choose a place that can not only support your child now, but can grow with them as their passions change and grow.
Meets their key needs. This is a tricky one. I have worked with children with special needs for many years and I have been a part of decisions to place a child in a setting that the family feels the child will “grow into” - and meet their needs at a later time. Occasionally, the kids do grow into the selected setting - which is great. Sometimes, they don’t. What that means is their needs aren’t being met in the now OR in the later. For any child, I feel that immediate success in a setting is a critical part of helping them feel competent and confident in school. Pick a setting you can envision your child in - playing, working, making friends - and that is the one where your child will be successful on their first day of big kid school.
So to do that means you need to figure out what your child’s key needs are - and this is possibly the difficult part. For some kids, what they need to have consistently in their first educational setting is obvious. My nephew, for instance, is one of the fastest moving kids I have ever seen. For Kindergarten, he will probably need a school that supports active learners with opportunities for athletics and movement during and after school. His family doesn’t have to think too much about his key needs - they and his past teachers know what he needs to feel successful in his day. However, for other children, this process isn’t as straightforward. Identifying what your child needs to have in their school day and prioritizing those needs (see #4) is essential to finding a setting that meets them consistently. When you do that, you have the capacity to find a special place that supports your child where it matters most.
2. Your family
Your educational values are shaped by many factors. Your education - and your feelings about your education. Your family’s education - and their history. Your culture, your ethnicity - and where you grew up. If you are parenting with another person, the same goes for them as well. (And a little bit of a news flash - your educational history, values, etc. might not match each other.) All these pieces (and more) create a picture what you and your partner feel is a “good education” for your child.
If that picture is crystal clear for you (and shared between you and your partner) - great. Then selecting a school that matches that picture should be fairly easy. If your picture is fuzzy, or doesn’t match your partner’s, then it is going to be more of a challenge.
Some people might look at this part of their school search as something they might do by feel - “I know a good school when I see it” kind of a thing. In part, I think that is true (see #8). However, if you don’t know what is most important to your family in terms of a school you will, in the end, find it difficult to prioritize and choose (see #4). An elementary school that offers French as a language is a great benefit to a child - but is it more important than having an up-to-date technology center, or having a project-based curriculum, or having a school garden, or having experienced, tenured teachers, or having a library staffed with a librarian... or, or, or. You get the picture. Without having specific qualities in a school to point at, it makes it difficult to begin your school search (how do you know where to start if everything is equally important); it will be difficult to hone your search; and it will be extremely difficult to make a final decision.
In talking to your partner (or someone you trust, see #5) about their values regarding schools and education, some good starter conversations might be:
Examining educational histories - thinking about experiences you had and would love for your child to also experience and situations/school settings you would like him/her to avoid. Additionally, bringing in the memories of extended family in remembering really what Kindergarten was like for you or your partner might also be helpful.
Thinking about optimal school climate and culture - what would a school be like that supported your particular family’s uniquenesses? Start with broad descriptors (like traditional, faith-centered, progressive, warm, professional, etc.) and then move to the detailed descriptions of your vision as soon as you can. What would the ideal school look like? Feel like? Sound like? What would you see there on a regular basis? Be specific as you co-create your vision with your partner.
If you had to pick three school amenities (garden, music program, computer lab, athletics, etc.) that were the most important to you, what would they be and why? Try to agree on the top three - it will make looking for a school with your three priorities easier to find.
And if this wasn’t enough - there is one more thing. This picture of a “good education” that you are creating with your partner or trusted friend.... is actually completely separate from your child’s needs in a school. While difficult to do, you need to balance what makes your family at ease with a school choice while looking at your child key needs (see #1) at the same time. Because if you and your partner don’t feel comfortable at your child’s school, guess who else won’t feel comfortable? Your child.
Coming up next....#3 - Distance, Time, and Money
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