IEP Tips for Families

Part of what I do in my business is support families through the special education process - helping families through meetings with schools and districts to determine what is the best plan for their child with special needs. This can be a very stressful time for families, and I often give this advice to my clients before going into a meeting - and I thought I would pass it along to all of you. They are six simple things you can do to help your IEP go smoothly. 

Remember: 

• You are a full member of the IEP team. This is your child - and special education law is designed to give you a leading role in your child’s education. The district cannot make any changes or implement any plan without advance notice, and often, your written consent. DO NOT give your written consent unless you are sure that the plan is a good one and that it is documented in a clear way in the paperwork. 

• Listen deeply and ask questions. Try to understand people’s perspectives as much as possible by listening, taking notes, and asking questions. The more you understand their perspective, the more involved of a team member you can be. There is no stupid question and everything that is said by a professional should be explained in a way that you can understand. That is a part of their job. 

• Keep calm and expect the best. The vast majority of people who work in special education are there to support children and families. People often have the best intentions. If someone says something that you disagree with, take a deep breath and say, “That is interesting, because that is different than what I have noticed. Can you tell me more about that?” Clear communication often helps 95% of disagreements be resolved in a positive way. Yelling or name calling is the quickest way to destroy a relationship with people who work with your child - and that is not what you want to do if you can avoid it.

•  Make room for what is important to you. Be sure that if you have three questions - or have two things you would like to say - that you prepare them in advance and bring them with you to the meeting so you don’t lose track. Also, tell the IEP chair (generally the special education teacher or the program specialist) before the meeting that you have questions and ask them where on the agenda they would best fit. I often prepare a "suggested agenda" for the meeting to share with the IEP chair (before the meeting) to structure the meeting to address the client's primary concerns - which many people view as helpful because then they can come prepared to the meeting having thought about the questions and having complete answers.  No matter what you do, take an active role in asserting what you feel the team needs to understand about your child.

• Tape record the meeting. It is your right to tape record as long as you give the IEP chair 48 hours notice in advance that you are doing so. Tape recording allows you to have a word-for-word copy of what was said at the meeting to review if you are feeling confused or wanting more clarification - and can support your documentation down the road if needed. While tape recording can have the unintended effect of making people nervous or defensive, making a little joke about it as you are turning on the recorder about your bad memory always helps. 

• Get a copy of all paperwork (signed or unsigned), read it until you understand it, and organize it - always. In special education, the paperwork holds all the power. If the paperwork doesn’t reflect what was said in the meeting the district does not have to follow through with “understandings” at the meeting - even if they have the best intentions to do so. Staff and circumstances change - but paperwork doesn’t. If it is documented in the IEP, no matter who is in charge, they have to follow through.  Understand what you are signing (or not signing) and organize it as you go so you can access it whenever you need it - instead of rustling through a stack of papers whenever you have a question.

Do you have any IEP tips to pass on to readers? Comment below!